Dr Benna’s Newsletter – 9

Quotation:

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay.
— Thich Nhat Hanh

click here to read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/thich_nhat_hanh_531574

Relationship reminder —

Old wounds and failures in a relationship can distract us from what’s right about today in this relationship.

if you’d like to read more about relationships, my book, How to Get and Give Love – Relationship Maps, is available online at all major booksellers, including Amazon.com

Mindfulness reminder —

Mindfulness is about being able to be only in the here and now, without depression about the past (which is immutable), without anxiety about the future (which hasn’t happened). Be here and now and be fully aware of this moment. In this moment you are okay.

for more on Mindfulness, click here to visit Greater Good– The Science of a Meaningful Life

Recent Relationship Maps column (courtesy of The Capital):

When an accusation is really a question “You really want a 19 year old blonde, not me!” “I know you’re just waiting for the right moment to leave me!”

It’s possible, of course, that either of these statements could be true, a simple statement of fact. It’s also true that either of these accusations might instead represent a question in disguise. Anger might be a disguise for fear.

Leah is 50 years old and brunette. She’s aware that this culture reveres youth and defines blondes as more attractive than brunettes. Her fear is that her husband of 25 years is no longer satisfied with her. Her message is framed as an accusation. The accusation covers up her anxiety under cover of anger. The real message is a question: “Do you still want to be married to me, even though I’m neither 19 nor blonde?”

click here to read more…

Hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter. Let me know what you think.
Let me know too if you have any requests or suggestions for future newsletters.

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Dr Benna Sherman

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How to Get and Give Love -- Relationship Maps
by Benna Z Sherman, PhD

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How To Get And Give Love