Dr Benna’s Newsletter – 10


“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is right here and now.” ― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember,

click here to read more about Fred Rogers

Relationship reminder —

Loving someone requires effort. Falling in love can be easy. Sustaining a loving relationship requires effort and commitment.

if you’d like to read more about relationships, my book, How to Get and Give Love – Relationship Maps, is available online at all major booksellers, including Amazon.com

Mindfulness reminder —

Mindfulness includes being able to be aware and conscious of others, without consciousness of yourself always taking your attention.

for more on Mindfulness, click here to visit Greater Good– The Science of a Meaningful Life

Recent Relationship Maps column (courtesy of The Capital):

When an accusation is really a question

“You really want a 19 year old blonde, not me!”

“I know you’re just waiting for the right moment to leave me!”

It’s possible, of course, that either of these statements could be true, a simple statement of fact. It’s also true that either of these accusations might instead represent a question in disguise. Anger might be a disguise for fear.

Leah is 50 years old and brunette. She’s aware that this culture reveres youth and defines blondes as more attractive than brunettes. Her fear is that her husband of 25 years is no longer satisfied with her. Her message is framed as an accusation. The accusation covers up her anxiety under cover of anger. The real message is a question: “Do you still want to be married to me, even though I’m neither 19 nor blonde?”

click here to read more…

Hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter. Let me know what you think.

Let me know too if you have any requests or suggestions for future newsletters.

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Dr Benna Sherman

Dr Benna Sherman

Available now

How to Get and Give Love -- Relationship Maps
by Benna Z Sherman, PhD

click here to buy paperback

How To Get And Give Love